Love of my life, soul mate, best friend, these are a few words I use to describe my husband. Today I will describe him as a anti-greenie. When it comes to Green Living we don't see eye to eye.
Listen to this! Last night I made us a yummy dinner. We were both sitting ready to eat. Scott gets up to fetch us some napkins.... paper ones. I truly believe I turned into the hulk, big and green and I didn't have to say one word he knew what he had done.
He is a guy of simplicity. I know that he got the paper towels because it is a little easier than bending down and opening the drawer where I keep the cloth napkins. He then told me that he checked out my blog and was chuckling at my post about paper plates and what not.
While green steam was coming out my ears I explained to him that he, more than anybody I know should care for the enviornment! He hunts, He farms, he likes to fish why wouldn't he want to live more green?!?!? He then explained to me that using paper plates and napkins was actually living green because then we didn't have to put them in the dishwasher and we save on detergent bottles. I know what you re thinking " Oh no he didn't?" but oh yes he did. ( Our detergent comes in a box anyway)
I love my hubby more than I can tell. I just can't seem to get him on board with me. I am dedicating this post to all those men or women out there who are green and live with anti-greenies! It is not easy! I feel for you!
This isn't the only area that we have disagreements. Another big one right now is Church. Basically I want to go and he doesn't want to go, at least not where I want to go, so we end up not going at all!
So, Ive tried to come up with a plan to make him want to live green, to make him want to go to Church. Then I realized that I don't want to force him into either one of these things. I want them to be important to him. He has to make that choice on his own. We are married but we are still individuals.
I did the only thing you can do, what I should have done in the first place, I prayed about it. Last night I read my Bible and I found a scripture that said that Jesus led by example. He didn't force anybody to believe in him or to follow him and that this is how we need to live our own lives.
So starting today I'm going to stop shoving green living and Church down my husband's throat. I will just set an example and hope that he can see it is good and make the choice to join me!
I will keep you posted on my *our progress!
4 comments:
Sounds like you have a lot going on!
I am sorry to hear you and your husband don't see eye to eye on this - I can't imagine how hard it'd be. Thankfully, my husband was always pretty good about willing to "give it a try." It did take a while to "change his thinking" - because he would do the same thing - grab the closest napkins regardless if they're cloth or not.
Maybe if you try - "Can we just try this? It's not a permanent, just try it for 2 months, or a month or whatever..." sometimes when people know they're not "locked in" to something they are willing to just "try."
About the church - my husband and I moved for his job 6 days after we were married to a new state - his job happens to be at a church. So I made the decision to "follow him" that he was the leader of the family and I wanted to respect his decision. I had never been to the church until we were moved here and he was working - and honestly, I didn't like it at first. I really didn't. Now I love it.
If you husband is a Christian too I would recommend letting him "make the call" on the church - not that we have to be all 18th century and submissive wives - but I still think men have a place as the spiritual leader of the family - and if your husband honestly, truly feels God leading him to a different church - I'd follow him.
That's just my two-cents!
And I know how you feel being the "hulk." I do it more with co-workers (because they're christian's too) - and I've had to learn to just lead by example - the more I badger them, throw our stats, the more they tune me out.
I have the same problem with Chris when it comes to my "green" standards! I'm in a unique situation since he will be gone for many months. I *know* I will go even greener while he is gone, but I'm going to have to remember when he comes back that we share this home and I won't be able to expect him to just conform to my ways. In fact, I want to make sure he feels very much at home when he returns!
Thank you Megan,
Funny you bring up the whole "submission topic".
On the day of our wedding I picked a verse that starts "women be submissive to you husbands" The priest made the comment that he had never had a woman pick this.
I take from it that my husband who loves me would never make a choice that was not good for me.I trust him and he takes the duty of making choices off my shoulders.
In this particular case it isnt so much that I would mind going to Church where he wants to go, if he wanted to go anywhere that would be great! I just cant get him to WANT to go.
Its a chore and to me that says he isnt getting anything out of the Church that we have attended.
See were both Catholic, in very old fashion Catholic Churches there is no Preaching really. Most of the time I honestly don't know what the priest is talking about. I would go though if Scott told me that it was really important to him but he does not.
I know that God is important to him and we pray and read together at night so Im not sure what the deal is with not wanting to go.
So Im sure you can see how Im in a bit of a pickle.
I think that my Scottie is coming a long at the green living just slowly. Were creatures of habit even bad ones! I just pray the best thing happens for us and our marriage!
Maybe you could start trying out new churches in the area? Even if they're not Catholic - just to try it for one weekend. I attend a non-denominational church and love it. Maybe he'd be up for it if it's trying something new each week til you find one you BOTH like.
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